I've been doing this online dating thing for about two days now and I've come to certain realizations:
1) This freaks my mom out. (Not so much a realization as a statement of fact.)
2) I am not willing to invest the time necessary to politely decline invitations to chat with guys who do not seem that interesting. This group includes people who send things like "u like naughty boys?", which I find distasteful since I did not say I was looking for an intimate encounter. I'm also less inclined to respond to people who send messages like "let's chat" without leaving any personal information or having a descriptive profile, or even a picture on their profile, since I'm fairly certain they send this message to every female on the site. (Evidence: Ginny and I got identical "knock knock" messages from this one user, at almost exactly the same time.) I thought I would be that marvelous person who acknowledges every message but I'm not and I'm okay with it.
3) The IM function brings all sorts of folk out of the woodwork. I'm not all that found of it since it demands too much attention. On one hand, I did meet one nice guy who has much friend potential but, on the other, I also run into people who are only looking for sex or people who want to bemoan their lack of relationship and discuss how nice it would be to have one. So far, I've refrained from reminding guys in the latter group that we are strangers and do not need to discuss feelings in the first few lines of conversation but my restraint is finite.
4) The Wonder Woman costume also brings all kinds out. I have gotten a few messages from comic book aficionados who want to talk books, which is cool, but also some guys who are not so lovely. Perhaps not the best choice in retrospect but whatevs.
5) And this one's a positive! It is possible to have nice conversations on the site, with guys who seem interested in getting to know you. I have met two nice people so far, with whom I am having back and forth conversations.
6) When people don't write back, I develop anxiety, which forces me to check and see if they've opened my message. If they have, this leads to feelings of self-doubt. If they haven't, I wonder what the heck is taking them so long, but leave with my confidence intact.
I don't know whether I'm cut out for this.
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4 comments:
I like how you're all "we do NOT need to discuss FEELINGS"
:)
Exactly.
Feelings freak me out. You know that!
And so they should! If you've known someone for less than a year you have no business burdening them with your emotions.
Well, maybe they can share their feelings before a year, but not in the first 10 minutes of conversation...
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